New Years Eve was absolutely ace: a shot of year-end celebrations craftily slipped inside a pint or so of wedding festivities, courtesy of Ken and Rachel who were married on 31st December after meeting at Burning Man in August.

A (very) rough chronology of our evening follows... drop me a line if you were present and feel anything's been omitted or misremembered...

8pm or so. Dr Dan arrives to secrete a cache of booze at our house. Not having a clue where he will end up tonight, he has repeated this task in houses and parks across the country.

9pm. we wander to the assigned meeting point, the lair of Jay & Emm. A roll call indicates that Dave, Katie, Toby, Phil and Steve are all present and correct.

9:30pm. The Sound of Music begins. Few know why.

9:32pm. Others filter in. Jude, Tom and Kate arrive. They have been drinking for some time now. Dan and Bella arrive, followed by Ken, Rachel and Dan - who are wearing war paint and goggles. Mr and Mrs Gareth are now here.

10:30pm. The assembled mass begin to wander towards the wretched hive of scum and villainy that is the Volks Tavern, for Lunarcy. Darren and Teresa arrive and glow at us.

11:00pm - 4:00am. The ceiling is well and truly pointed at.

4:00am. We regroup outside and wander home, via various circuitous routes. Ukemi occurs, naturally.

4:30am. Alcohol is extracted from the garden, and the plotting of next moves begins. Ken and Rachel retire upstairs.

5:00am. Office Lurve arrives and escorts the newlyweds home.

5:02am. Jude remembers we have gorilla suits. After a small amount of persuasion I am convinced that what the world needs right now is two drunken fools in gorilla suits.

5:15am. Wander to the House of Metal, via girl crying in a doorway who is probably not impressed by kind, caring gorillas. By the time we arrive, the house of metal is more soggy cardboard than sharpened steel. We leave, muttering about kids these days.

6:00am. Jude and Tom wander off to catch up with Kate. Dan, Ju and I settle in to sort out the worlds problems, but forget to write down all the answers.

7:30am. Jude and Tom return. According to the strict "tag team" rules employed this evening, Dan is now free to go home and recuperate.

8:20am. Bottle of Cava is opened. My stomach turns.

8:30am. Feed cats, go to bed.